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How To Develop A Going Home Mindset

Updated: Oct 21, 2023

Developing a "going home" mindset in a self-defense situation is crucial for increasing your chances of safely returning to your home or a place of safety.

Violence can manifest suddenly, akin to an unexpected ambush, or evolve gradually over time. Activating the mental switch that propels one past the "freeze" phase of the fight, flight, or freeze response to physically defend oneself is far from straightforward.

How To Develop A Going Home Mindset
How To Develop A Going Home Mindset

Initially, individuals must expel both apathy and denial from their thought patterns, as these traits are the mainstay of a victim's psyche.


They breed negligence and a profound lack of awareness, rendering one ill-prepared for unforeseen adversities. In reality, fortune favors the prepared mind, and too often, violence victims express sentiments such as, "I never imagined something like this could happen to me," or "Such incidents only occur in big cities, not in our town."


This trepidation is perilous thinking, as violence regrettably knows no geographic or temporal bounds; it can strike anywhere, anytime, and anyone is susceptible.


Recognizing the presence of violence is not an act of paranoia, nor does it invite it into one's life. Rather, it represents an honest acknowledgment of its existence for the purpose of avoidance, prevention, and if necessary, self-defense. Lacking this awareness puts individuals at a significant disadvantage.


Many individuals we educate may resist the notion of causing harm to another, even when under attack. While the aversion to harm is understandable, it regrettably lacks practicality and common sense.


Instead of viewing it as causing harm, consider it as doing what is essential to prevent harm to oneself or loved ones. It is a means of ensuring one's survival and, most importantly, returning to the embrace of those who hold a special place in their heart.


Self-preservation is not about causing harm to others; it is about thwarting any attempts to harm oneself. Effective self-defense necessitates using whatever means available in the given moment.


Violence does not affect only the direct victim; it casts a wide and pernicious ripple effect, touching the lives of those essential to you, such as family and friends.


People often find themselves capable of doing more for their loved ones than for themselves. However, to be of any help to those you cherish, you must first be alive and well.


The predator's intent extends beyond harming you; they seek to hurt your loved ones through you.


Now, contemplate this scenario with utmost gravity:


Imagine someone you deeply love and cannot envision life without going missing for a week. Then, consider the heart-wrenching discovery of their lifeless body near your home a week later. How would you feel? Devastated? Enraged? Heartbroken? Driven by vengeance?


These emotions are entirely understandable.


Now, reverse the roles.


The feelings you experienced while answering those questions mirror the anguish your loved ones would endure if anyone were to harm you or separate you from them. Will you allow anyone, irrespective of their familial, societal, cultural, or religious status, to inflict this torment upon you and those you hold dear?


A resounding "No."


By converting hesitation and fear into righteous anger and indignation into strategic determination, you can begin the transformation into someone capable of defending yourself and your loved ones.


Tap into the love you harbor for your people or any other aspect of your life, and you can become better prepared and a formidable force.


This is the mindset that has empowered countless individuals of all backgrounds, ages, races, and beliefs throughout human history to overcome daunting odds.


It falls upon you to identify who and what truly matter in your life. Those you yearn to embrace once more – your ongoing projects, the child you nurture, the life partner who shares their world with you, and your parents – these are the individuals and pursuits for whom you would go to any lengths, whatever it takes, to return home.


It's your duty to them. You owe it to them to be as fit, as strong, as capable as possible because, ultimately, they suffer if you fall short.


It may involve something as simple as dedicating an hour to reading relevant material or employing tactics like a quick and strategic escape maneuver to catch an assailant off guard, giving you precious moments to flee.


At the other extreme, it might entail using varying degrees of violence, a harsh truth to contemplate but potentially necessary to ensure your safe return home at night.


The Going Home Mindset

Remember that a "going home" mindset in a self-defense situation is about prioritizing your safety and well-being. It involves mental preparedness, awareness, and practical skills to protect yourself and, when possible, de-escalate situations to avoid violence. Your primary objective should always be to escape the danger and return to safety.


Do whatever it takes to embrace your loved ones once more.


Violence Prevention and Self Defense Resources

CVPSD non-denominational, and apolitical organization originally founded in response to the reemergence of violent anti-Semitism and religious bullying affecting communities across the world. CVPSD quickly evolved to become a community-wide partner, helping all Americans who are being intimidated and bullied.


The goal of the Center for Violence Prevention and Self Defense is to stop violence by educating at-risk people and empower them with the skills needed to protect themselves both online and live training. CVPSD's live training is available to people of all ages in New Jersey including children, adults and the elderly.


Live conceptual seminars teach the origins of violence and how to assess risk and set boundaries for healthy relationships. Experiential classes teach hands-on interpersonal skills and strategies to prevent and stop assault. Our self defense instruction includes techniques from Jujutsu, MMA, Krav maga, Kickboxing, Karate and more.

The Center for Violence Prevention and Self Defense reaches individuals and communities through partnerships with schools and other nonprofits, community groups, as well as classes for the public. By reducing the fear and impact of violence, we help to create a community where people live powerfully, experience freedom.

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