How To Determine Proportionality In A Self-Defense Situation- What To Do If You Are Unarmed

william demuth
Nov 10
6 min read

Updated: Nov 11

Proportionality is the guiding idea that your response to a threat should be no more than reasonably necessary to stop the threat and get you to safety. It matters for your survival, and it matters legally. Below is a practical, no-nonsense guide to help you read a situation fast, decide whether an aggressor is using lethal force or non-lethal force, and choose appropriate unarmed responses.

1) Start with the legal and moral frame

Proportionality is both an ethical and a legal concept. Laws vary by place, so what a police or court will call “reasonable” differs. When in doubt, prioritize escape and avoidance over escalation.
Your goal in most situations is to create distance and get away. Physical force is a tool to enable escape, not to “win” an argument.

2) Fast, practical checklist to assess the threat (do this in seconds)

Use your eyes, ears, body language read, and environment. Ask these quick questions silently to yourself:

Are they trying to control me or injure me? If they want your phone or wallet this may be theft, not intended to kill.
Do they have a weapon in hand, or openly reach for one? A visible weapon usually equals lethal force.
Are they using force in a way that could kill or seriously injure? Examples: choking, stabbing motions, shooting, heavy strikes to head or torso.
Are there multiple attackers, or are they much bigger/stronger than you? Overwhelming numbers or size can make even unarmed attacks effectively lethal.
Is the aggressor highly agitated, enraged, or intoxicated? Unpredictable behavior raises the risk level.
Is escape possible right now, or are you trapped (cornered, in a car, confined space)?

If the answer points toward potential death or serious bodily harm, treat it as lethal force. If the attack is pushing, grabbing, or a single closed-fist strike without signs of intent to cause severe harm, it may be non-lethal.

How To Determine Proportionality In A Self-Defense Situation- What To Do If You Are Unarmed

3) How to tell lethal versus non-lethal force, fast

Signs of lethal force:

Weapon present (knife, gun, broken bottle, blunt instrument), or obvious attempt to produce one.
Choking/strangulation, sustained holds to throat, or attempts to suffocate.
Repeated strikes to head, throat, spine, or torso, or attempts to force you to the ground and hold you there.
Threats plus actions that would reasonably lead to death or permanent disability.
An attacker prepared to use extreme violence, shown by their speech, eyes, or behavior.

Signs of non-lethal force:

Grabs, shoves, single punch, attempts to forcibly take your belongings without intent to seriously injure.
Threatening posture but no weapon, and escape route exists.
Aggressor appears primarily motivated by theft, intimidation, or a temporary loss of control rather than to cause life-ending harm.

Important: treat ambiguous situations conservatively. If you think there is any chance of serious injury, act as if it is lethal.

4) How to respond if the aggressor is using non-lethal force (unarmed)

Primary objective: safe escape with minimal force.

Use your voice: firm, loud, simple commands like “Back off,” “Stay back,” “Leave now.” Calling out can deter and draws attention.
Create distance and use barriers: back up, put objects between you and them, move around a car, climb a set of stairs if available.
Use gross motor skills, not finesse: shove with your palms, use an elbow to clear space, kick to the knee or shin if needed to create space. Low-skill, high-effect moves work best under stress.
Target big, simple strikes that disable briefly: push the shoulder, strike the ear with an open hand (causes disorientation), stomp the foot, or strike the thigh. These are intended to break contact and enable escape.
Use environmental aids: run to lighted, populated areas, knock over trash cans to create obstacles, move to a business or toward people.
If necessary, use compliance techniques to break a grab: step to the side, lower your center of gravity, pull the limb toward the weakest part of their grip, then run.

Remember: non-lethal responses should match the threat. Don’t escalate to life-ending force just because you are angry.

5) How to respond if the aggressor is using lethal force (unarmed)

When an attacker is using lethal force, your legal and survival calculus changes. Your immediate priority is to survive and escape. Actions you may take include:

Escape first, if possible. Even when lethal force is present, getting away is the best outcome.
If escape is impossible, use anything you can as an improvised weapon: keys, a backpack, a jacket wrapped around a hand, pens, chairs, bottles. A humble object that increases distance and impact can save your life.
Aim to disable, not to "fight fair." When life is at stake, target high-value, vulnerable areas to create an opening: eyes, throat, groin, nose, top of the foot for trips, shin for pain compliance. These are painful and can stop an attack long enough to escape.
Use gross motor, committed strikes. Under lethal threat you will not be assessed for finesse. Heavy, simple movements are more reliable than small technical moves.
If being choked or suffocated, fight the hold aggressively. Target the fingers, eyes, or use your chin to create space; you must create a breathing gap.
If facing a weapon, distance is critical. Use barriers, run in zig-zags if needed, and throw objects to disrupt their aim or attention.
Noise saves lives. Scream, shout “Call the police,” or yell to attract help. Loudness can disrupt an attacker and get witnesses to intervene or call authorities.

Legal note: When lethal force is present, many jurisdictions allow you to use deadly force in defense of yourself. Check your local laws to understand exactly when deadly force is justified.

6) Practical techniques you can practice (safe training only)

Gross motor strikes: palm heel to nose, elbow strikes to face/temple, hammerfist to collarbone, stomp to foot, kick to shin. These are simple, repeatable, and effective under stress.
Breaks and escapes: wrist release by rotating toward the weak side of the grip, stepping off-balance to slide out of a body hold.
Falling and getting up: practice getting to your feet safely under pressure, then running away.
Voice and boundary drills: practice shouting short commands, and rehearsing escape routes mentally.

Train these with professionals and in controlled environments. Repetitive muscle memory beats theory under adrenaline.

7) After the incident

Get to safety, call emergency services immediately.
Seek medical attention even if you feel okay. Adrenaline can mask serious injury.
Preserve evidence: photos of injuries, clothing, and the scene. Note witness names and contact info.
Report to police and document everything while memories are fresh.
If you used force, consult an attorney to understand legal implications in your area.

8) Limits, ethics, and prioritized actions

Priority order: avoid, escape, de-escalate, defend, then if needed, disable and escape. Always choose the least force necessary to get safe.
You are not expected to be a superhero. Survival and escape are successes.
Avoid giving chase after leaving the scene, unless you are in a position to immediately stop more harm and there is a compelling safety reason to do so.

9) Final practical checklist to carry in your head

Assess quickly: weapon, choke, multiple attackers, trapped.
If lethal risk suspected, treat as lethal. Use improvised weapon, loud voice, and aggressive gross motor responses to escape.
If non-lethal, prioritize distance, voice commands, and simple maneuvers to break contact and leave.
After escape, call authorities and get medical help.

You do not need to be perfect. You need to be practical, decisive, and focused on escaping. Train gross motor skills, practice situational awareness, and learn simple escapes from a qualified instructor. Know your local laws so you understand the legal boundary of proportionality where you live.

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